The hard and the rigid will break. The soft and the flexible will remain.
-Tao Te Ching
One of my acquaintances who is a homemaker recently shifted to a different location due to her hubby’s job. Though she was never interested in going to that place but she had no option except to shift, as there was no reason to stay back all alone. She called me and said, she was feeling extremely frustrated and angry these days. In her words “I do not like this place, weather, and even the people, as they seem very unfriendly. I really want to go back to my old city but cannot as hubby got transferred here for 2 years. I do not know how I will be able to stay here for such a long time. I do not feel happy and feel like running away from here”. She was only cribbing the whole time and had been talking about the place, people, and the weather that she does not like and how she does not feel like doing anything.
This interaction with her was replaying in my mind for quite some time and I was wondering why people sometimes become so rigid and fixated. It’s really a big challenge to adjust and adapt to a transition in life, be it a big or small. But our own perception and attitude make this change easy or difficult.
Despite thinking over negatively and reacting to our opinions, if we shift our focus on what we can do in a transitional phase and look for the ways to cope up with changes, life will become easier.
There is no doubt that our life and circumstances do change and all days are not the same. There are ups and downs and life is not always smooth or the way we expect it to be. It doesn’t matter what the situations or circumstances are, but how we perceive and interpret them are likely to bring our reactions and affect our feelings and emotions to a great extent. So, it all depends on inferences that we make about any given situation rather than the situation itself, that causes us the distress. Moreover, if we try to distinguish our thoughts from opinions, then we can look at the reality and can make choices about what we can or cannot do. Besides, if we are flexible in our approach, then it would always be easier for us to adapt to transitions of life. But the person who is having a rigid and a fixed approach cannot adapt to life changes easily.
So how we should be? The answer is very simple.
We should try to be flexible and open, as it will help us to adapt, grow, learn and progress in life. We always have choices and what to do with a particular situation is very much under our own control.
So if you are feeling stuck in some situation and feeling helpless, you just need to change your perspective. Do not let your rigid thinking come in the way to move ahead. Be open and try to be flexible and look at the options more consciously and the transition phase will also pass leaving you more experienced and learned.
First published here